Overlooked Leadership Traits - Part 1: Empathy
The three types of empathy and why they are vital traits for any leader
In today’s fast-paced, fast-changing world, we need true leaders. Leaders who have a clear vision of the future of the organization. Leaders who can inspire people with how they communicate their vision. Leaders who trust the people to journey towards this vision.
However, modern leadership requires more than this. One of the often overlooked leadership traits is empathy: “the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another.” - Merriam Webster dictionary
Today I will discuss the three types of empathy and why they are important traits for a leader.
The consequences of a lack of empathy
Picture this. Your organization is in deep trouble. The annual results are far behind expectations and the promising new products have yet to convince the potential users. Leadership doesn’t see another option than to cut staff. This will not only impact the people who will lose their jobs. It will also have consequences for the people that will remain.
The leaders don’t waste their energy on handling this anxiety. After all, the company needs to get out of this misery quickly. So, they focus on finding new ways to increase the value of their products. What could go wrong?
Well, let’s discuss the possible consequences of a lack of empathy.
Reduced trust
When leaders don’t show they understand the troubles of their people, they send a message as if they don’t care. It is easy to understand that people will see this as “you are expendable cogs in a machine”. This is especially hurtful when the company simultaneously promotes agility and self-organising teams. This comes across as if the leaders have a split personality. What is the true nature of their leaders?
Decreased morale
If the leaders don’t show any understanding of the impact of their decisions on the personnel, people may feel undervalued, underappreciated or misunderstood. This can result in decreased morale and disconnection from their work. And this will seriously hinder the company from moving forward.
Higher attrition rates - the people who care leave
The people who believed the companies’ narrative of self-organisation and agility may feel betrayed and decide to move away. This is certainly a way to reduce staff: demoralising your highest motivated talent to the point they leave. Don’t be surprised though when it will be increasingly hard to reach the company goals! This may be the start of a downward spiral.
Negative impact on company culture
The long-term consequences of a lack of empathy can be serious. Ambitions to foster empowerment will be distrusted because people remember what happened when the company struggled. Years of fostering a culture of agility can be irreparably damaged by showing a lack of empathy when push comes to shove.
Empathy vs Sympathy
Empathy is not the same as sympathy. Sympathy is when someone sees and acknowledges the struggles of another, but doesn’t share the same understanding or feelings. They may even aim to show the bright side, which can be insensitive. Imagine a leader saying: “there are plenty of jobs to find in the market” to someone who’s just heard they may lose their job at a company they love to work for. The leader has sympathy but shows no empathy. Empathy goes a step further as this is about understanding and feeling the person’s pain or struggles.
3 elements of empathy
Psychologists Daniel Goleman and Paul Ekman identified three elements of empathy:
Cognitive empathy
Cognitive empathy is knowing how the other person feels and what they might think. It is like finding a way into someone’s brain to solve a math problem. This is an intellectual version of empathy. You can even argue that this is no true empathy as it has no element of emotion.
Emotional empathy
Emotional empathy is identifying with someone by putting yourself in a similar emotional space. This is about feeling. You’d typically show emotional empathy to someone you are very close with. Showing emotional empathy without cognitive empathy in a business-related setting may feel jarring and disconnected.
Compassionate empathy
With compassionate empathy, you know the struggles of a person and can also feel with them. You are moved to help the person. It is a mix of cognitive and emotional empathy. This often is the empathy sweet spot. A leader who shows compassionate empathy can touch upon the logic and the emotion of the struggles and take the initiative to help find relief.
Conclusion
The business world can be hard at times. Things may not always go as you want. Leaders may need to make tough choices that highly impact their people. People may not get their expected raise. They may not get the promotion they wanted. They may need to find another spot in the changing organization. They may get fired. It is all part of the harsh reality of the business world.
But that doesn’t mean leaders can skip over what it does to these people. They need to have empathy. Cognitive, emotional and compassionate empathy. Without these, it is very hard to build trust, the foundation of effective teams.
This is the first part of what I intend to be a series of Overlooked Leadership Traits. Please let me know in the comments if you like this idea!
The scariest thing is that managers without empathy might even get promoted because "they get the job done without feelings getting in their way".